I am also a person with feelings too........

I have been a hospice nurse for three years. I have cared for and lost several patients during this time. Even though each patient that I have had has had a special place in my heart there are those that touch me in a special way. While I am busy being a professional hospice nurse and helping this family through a difficult time I push my own feeling aside. It is my responsibility to educate, council and support patient and families. Furthermore, it is my responsibility to make sure that my patient is pain and symptom free. I get so involved in providing the holistic care that hospice is all about that I become a part of a special yet difficult time in a family's life. I spend at least two days a week or more caring for these patients and families. I learn all about their lives, likes and dislikes. We laugh together and I hold their hands or give them a hug when they cry. I have to swallow hard and maintain professionalism but still make sure they know I care. I lost one of my special patients (friends) today. Due to the snow storm and being snowed in I was not able to be with them. I called his wife to make sure the family was doing as well as they could be and to offer some comforting word to them. She expressed their gratitude for the care and friendship I had given them and that they loved me. I sat there with tears rolling down my face. I thought for a moment that this is a loss in my life as well. I too am going through some grief. I became a part of their lives but they had become a part of mine too. Even though I am a professional hospice nurse I am also a person with feelings too.....God bless them and comfort them.